


cause my face is red and ugly (i'm afraid that you won't love me)

by mauvechilli



Category: Blue Lock (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Established Relationship, M/M, Nail Polish, aryu uses they/them pronouns, its 1am im tired, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26782837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mauvechilli/pseuds/mauvechilli
Summary: Jyubei wished they didn’t live towns away from Aoshi. It couldn’t be helped, they supposed, considering the Exercise Science course he was taking was so far from Jyubei’s art college. It could be worse, though, rather than being a train journey away.That didn’t really mean anything to them, though. They still felt lonely.-based off pyjama pants by cavetown
Relationships: Aryu Jyubei/Tokimitsu Aoshi
Kudos: 10





	cause my face is red and ugly (i'm afraid that you won't love me)

It had been a rough week.

A large piece of coursework had been set on Monday, due in two weeks. After the last time, Jyubei had set themselves a rule- no seeing Aoshi until they made headway on their assignment. They had rushed their last, smaller project in two days, and barely scraped a B grade. They had too much fun when they were away with him that weekend. Aoshi had taken them to a museum in his town with a large fashion history department, just to watch Jyubei take their time carefully reading the curated descriptions for the exhibit.

Jyubei hadn't dated anyone like Aoshi before. They had learnt a lot about anxiety in the past few months- more than they had in their life. They got together after meeting at a party that some rich boy had thrown- Reo, Jyubei thought his name was. But despite that, they could say with certainty that they loved Aoshi.

He… He was like a giant teddy bear. Jyubei fondly recalled his blush when they had scooped him up in their arms for the first time, and they sighed. What they wouldn't give to do that now, and settle down on the sofa with him.

The buzz of their phone alerted Jyubei back to their surroundings. They checked it, but it was just some message to a group chat about a party. They put it back down. As if Jyubei would go to one when they couldn't even see their boyfriend with a clear conscience. Aoshi had burnt his hand on a panini press earlier in the week, and even though he had insisted that it was alright after his roommate took him to A&E, the same roommate that left it out in the first place. He didn't want Jyubei to break their rule for something 'unimportant', and only messaged him about it after the hospital trip.

They turned back to the canvas. It was still empty.

That was another issue. They had worked so hard collecting everything for this project. Jyubei had reference photos, concept sketches, materials, but they had been sitting in front of a blank canvas for an hour now waiting for inspiration to strike.

They flexed their hand. Jyubei needed a distraction.

They settled on painting their nails. After a brief look through their collection of nail polishes, they settled on a light mauve hue, and set to work. First, they applied a base coat. Nailcare was important, especially for someone who painted their nails as much as them. Jyubei did their best to be patient as one hand dried, watching the clock. They moved on to their other hand, and was soon set to put a solid coat on. It was going to look so pretty, and they were sure that it might make them feel a little more motivated.

Their left hand went smoothly, and they admired it for a moment before moving on to the other. They were feeling a little better already.

It smudged. That was fine. Jyubei had the nail polish remover at hand. They could fix it. They poured a little onto a cotton wool pad and took off the layers on one of the nails they had done- and the cotton wool stuck to their thumb, that was fine, Jyubei could remove that as well.

The nail polish remover got onto the ones on their left hand, which they had done perfectly. It was the last push over the edge that they needed to cry, stressed and tired. Everything was too much, and they were overwhelmed.

A number of buzzes followed, and they sat up, with their face a mess as they went to check their texts.

**aoshi:** hey! i was wondering if i could come over

**aoshi:** i should have asked but i missed you a lot and i have some films on my disk drive to watch sdhfgshgf

**aoshi:** i have mean girls, some ghibli, and probably some others

**aoshi:** but if you’re busy thats ok

Jyubei smiled to themselves as they read over the messages. This was just what they wanted. They began typing a message to let Aoshi know it was fine, but rethought their situation before hitting send. They looked ugly. They had been crying over nail polish, of all things. It was not fine.

Aoshi couldn't see them like this. They needed an excuse.

**Jyubei:** There’s a fire

That was stupid.

**aoshi:** are you ok? i’ll be there as soon as possible, i’m at the station fifteen minutes away

**Jyubei:** No it’s fine

**Jyubei:** Well, it’s not fine, there’s a fire

**Jyubei:** Don’t come round

**aoshi:** jyubei i’m worried

**aoshi:** is everything ok?

Those two messages sent a pang of guilt through his system. They shouldn't be lying to Aoshi like this. He didn't deserve to hear these stupid lies.

**Jyubei:** Sorry I just

**Jyubei:** There isn’t a fire, I just

**Jyubei:** I don’t want you to see me like this

**aoshi:** what happened?

**aoshi:** you don’t have to tell me, but i’m here for you

**Jyubei:** I'm a mess

**Jyubei:** I don't want you to see me when I'm not stylish

Jyubei put down their phone, and buried their face in their knees. They were always put together. Always. Like this, the illusion would be shattered for Aoshi. If they weren't always stylish, then…

Their phone didn't vibrate with a single notification. They couldn't help but laugh. Jyubei was right. Aoshi didn't want to be around someone like them.

It hurt.

A knock sounded on their door. What? That couldn't be Aoshi; it hadn't been long before his texts. They cautiously stood and opened the door just to see the boy in question bent over, sweating a storm. "Aoshi, what are you…?"

"I was worried, so I came as quickly as I could. Are… Are you okay?" Jyubei stepped aside to let him in, and hugged him as soon as they had shut the door. They felt themselves relax in his embrace. Aoshi just felt safe, like home.

They had missed this feeling.

"What happened?"

Jyubei took a breath. Easy does it. "I was having trouble with my coursework, and I decided to paint my nails because I wanted a break. It's ridiculous. I just smudged it and then I just… This happened. Over nail polish." They frowned. Honestly, it was just such a small thing, but then why did they feel this bad?

"That's okay. Sometimes that happens to me, too! Sometimes it takes a while for the bad feelings to build up and then one small thing happens and then you have the… Like, the crack in the dam and it all comes crashing through. You just need to let it happen. Or try to recognise, uh, warning signs…" Jyubei watches him as he gazes off, thinking, before he snaps back. "Ah, I'm just repeating things my counsellor has told me, sorry…"

"I get what you mean." They murmur, and hug Aoshi tight. "I love you."

"I love you too. You know… You're always stylish to me. No matter what." He smiles into the crook of Jyubei's neck, before they pull away to press a kiss to the corner of his lips. He turns red.

"Did you say you brought Mean Girls?"

"Yeah… Do you want to watch it?"

Ten minutes later, the pair were cuddled up on Jyubei's sofa, with Aoshi in their lap, the coursework forgotten just for now. That could wait.

**Author's Note:**

> this is so messy asdfsdjh maybe i'll come back and clean this up a bit in the morning but this is for oomfs ily  
> yell at me on twitter [ @mauvechilli](https://twitter.com/mauvechilli) except pls dont i will cry


End file.
